i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize