The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
