the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This is the high leading the old right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
