can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize