First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
