Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
