You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
stop calling my apartment porn island.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
