Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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