Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
