Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
