6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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