I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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