idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
