i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
