no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
