she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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