Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
