why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
