I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
