We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize