did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
