rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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