Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
