I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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