You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
