This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
