i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
