he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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