I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
