Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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