she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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