I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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