awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
