I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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