enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
