My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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