I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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