I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didn't notice because vodka
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
