It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sorry about my life...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize