Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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