Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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