God, you're like boner-b-gone
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
