Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
