Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
