she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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