Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
