East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
