i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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