eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
