Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
