I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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