then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
