what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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