Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
