ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
