Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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