Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
