I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
