I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
