im having a threesome with these popsicles
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
