I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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